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Loud girl displaying the usual slightly ill-advised student webcomic definition of insanity: liking violence, having starey eyes and generally acting like a manic twelve year old who recently got their head trapped in a jelly belly dispenser. You play an edgy dude in a suit with too many belts voiced by the great Steve Blum wearing his Cowboy Bebop hat, and he was once part of a CRIME GANG that operated more along the lines of a best friends treehouse club, and consisted of bog standard archetypes: slacker idiot friend, hot girl, loud girl. I don’t hate the story, it’s just a little bit… juvenile, I suppose. It’s good to space out the intense speedrunning challenges with a bit of downtime hanging out with some anime characters, or more accurately, characters from a webcomic drawn by a freshman college student who watches too much anime. And the final ingredient is a visual novel element, (spit). Why the guns need to be presented as cards I’m a little less clear on maybe if you can somehow describe yourself as a “card battler” then you’re entitled to a tax break from the government of indie games. Like in the lobby scene in the first Matrix film, or that one dude from Overwatch who presumably has more spare guns on him than an American high school lost property department. There’s something intrinsically cool, if not terribly environmentally friendly, about throwing spent guns away in the middle of an action scene. And I can definitely see the through line at the core of this idea. The unique gameplay mechanic is that you pick up gun cards that you either shoot in that usual boring way of guns or throw away to use some kind of traversal power unique to that gun – the pistol grants a double jump, the rifle a midair dash, the rocket launcher has a grappling hook which means that if it also dispensed prawn cocktail flavour skips from its hilt then I would officially need nothing else in my life. Really it’s a first person speed puzzle platformer, where in each level the challenge is to deduce the quickest route to splatter all the mandatory kills and hit the exit.
#Speedrunners game characters full
View Full TranscriptĪnd after playing it, yes I suppose you could call Neon White a first person shooter in that it’s first person and you shoot things, but the enemies can’t move and have all the dynamic characterisation of the hurdles on a sprinting track. And I harbour a growing interest in speedrunners, mainly because I feel like someone needs to be keeping an eye on these people before there’s an unexpected Mountain Dew shortage and they burn down all our cities.
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The Escapist has a communal list of games for review that I always try to steal the juiciest carrots from before the 3MR guys sober up on Monday morning, and Neon White caught my eye when it described itself as a first person speedrunning shooter. And you know what makes me feel positive: new indie games I hadn’t heard of before but really like. Now let’s move on and try to spread a little much needed positivity instead. Tell you what, let’s just list off all the things I would have called it right now: Diablo Immortal, Diablo Immoral, Diablo Impoverishing, Diablo Income Statement, Diablo In A Gadda Da Vida Baby. Why should I make myself miserable all week just to rephrase established general opinion through a lens of dick jokes and progressively changing the title into something irreverent. Sounds like you already know how you feel about it, viewers. It’s a bit boring and the camera zooms in too close and also it’s the most insidious work of evil to ever be squeezed out from the black thorny anus of BeelzeBlizzard. Oh Yahtzee, you should do Diablo Immortal. We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for brand new ZP merch.
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Want to watch Zero Punctuation ad-free? Sign-up for The Escapist + today and support your favorite content creators! This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Neon White.įor more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out The Quarry, Sifu, Hardspace: Shipbreaker, Salt and Sacrifice, Rogue Legacy 2, and Elden Ring.